


My Heart Is Only For You

by kowaikun



Category: Pentagon (Korean Band)
Genre: Angst, Cute, Fluff, Foreign Line, Happy Ending, Jinho and that damn bee costume, M/M, Unrequited Love, Yanan is too pure for this world, Yuto is an emo, kpop, pre dubut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-24 18:10:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9778472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kowaikun/pseuds/kowaikun
Summary: Pre-debut fluff, Yuto has a hopeless crush on Yanan but doesn't think it will go anywhere.





	1. Chapter 1

“So, Yuto Hyung, truth or dare?”

… 

It was Kino who suggested it. 

He’d snuck in to the B dorm after lights out, proudly unveiling a bottle of clear liquid from under his hoodie, flashing a mischievous smile at Yuto. 

Yuto honestly wasn’t in the mood for sharing secrets tonight. He’d already come last again in this week’s pentagon maker challenge and he was seriously missing home. Plus, last time they’d played this game, Kino had suffered from the worst hangover ever, leaving Yuto to cover for his absence all day. Nevertheless, Kino persisted.

“Hyung?” Kino batted his puppy dog eyes at Jinho who was supposed to be the responsible adult of the dorm. 

“Just this once I won’t say anything. But I swear if you make me wear the bee costume again you’ll have hell to pay.”  
“I love you~Hyung!” Kino plonked himself down next to Yuto and beckoned the others to join him. Yeo One and Wooseok rolled reluctantly off their bunks and joined the other three in the circle. 

“Wait, Yanan Hyung!” Kino called and Yanan poked a sleepy face round the door of the bathroom. “We can’t play without you!” Kino flashed another smile at Yuto who tried to fake a look of confusion in return. 

The truth was that Kino had been teasing Yuto for a week now about his “crush” on Yanan. Yuto shrugged it off as nonsense but in reality he couldn’t hide his affection for the Chinese boy. Kino had teased him mercilessly but tonight he was going to put Yuto’s feelings to the test.

Finally all 5 members of the B dorm, plus special guest Kino, were sitting in a circle, the bottle of alcohol placed ceremoniously in the middle.

The rules were simple. Truth or dare. And if you can’t face the dare, or the truth is too hard to tell, then the forfeit was a swig of liquor.

 

“Yeo One, have you ever ever been jealous of another member?” Jinho slurred. He’d refused bee costume-related dares one too many times and now his sentences were becoming blurred as a result of emptying a third of the bottle.

“No. What’s there to be jealous of?” Yeo One smirked, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear. Jinho chucked a pillow at his face.

“My turn, my turn! So, Yuto Hyung, truth or dare?” Kino gazed at Yuto with fake innocence. Yuto thought carefully. He’d already been subjected to multiple questions about his non existent love life and preferred not to be interrogated again.

“Hmm dare.” Yuto spoke in his low tone, although it was also becoming somewhat slurred. There were too many secrets he wished to keep hidden and thus he’d also been subjected to the forfeit of alcohol.

“I dare you to kiss… Wooseok” Kino tapped his own lips and grinned. Yuto rolled his eyes, crawling forward to the sleepy Wooseok who was sitting opposite. For a brief moment their lips met, Wooseok blushing slightly as Yuto pulled away. That was easy enough. Yuto and Wooseok were basically best friends and nothing between them ever got awkward.

Just as Yuto was silently congratulating himself in passing another round of truth or dare, he felt a pang of guilt. Out of the corner of his eye he’d seen Yanan awkwardly turn away, looking down at the floor in… disappointment? Yuto tried to brush it off, distracting himself with the amusing image of Jinho trying to swing a punch at Yeo One who had brought up the bee costume again.

…

Hours later, an empty bottle lay forgotten on the floor. Wooseok was snoring softly in his bunk, Jinho was passed out on Yeo One’s bed and Yeo One was holed up in the bathroom desperately trying to scrub the lipstick stains off his white tee.

The dorm was in darkness now, the only illumination coming from the glow of the bathroom light. Yuto was still in his crosslegged position on the floor. 

“Hyung!” Kino whispered nudging Yuto and nodding his head towards Yanan who was still sitting on his own on the opposite side of the small room. Kino got up to leave, winking at Yuto, and unsatisfied with his response, nodded urgently towards Yanan again before tiptoeing out the door and down the corridor back to the A dorm.

Yuto chewed on his lip nervously as he watched Yanan lean his head back against the wall and close his eyes. Yuto swallowed his nerves and scooted over to sit by him.

“Hyung? You ok?” his deep voice startled Yanan who awoke from his thoughts.

“Yes, Adachi” Yanan replied. Although it was dark, Yuto sensed he was smiling. “I’m just missing home.” Yanan pulled his knees to his chest. “I feel like i don’t really know anyone here I guess…” he sighed.

Yuto gulped. He was kind of awkward when it came to serious conversation and he was especially awkward when it came to comforting others.

“It’s tough, being so far away from everything you know. But soon you’ll find familiarity in your new surroundings and it will feel like home…” Yuto trailed off. Yanan was staring at him in the dark. “What?”

“Adachi, do you ever~” but before Yanan could continue, Yeo One came swanning in, pushing Jinho off his bed before collapsing on top of the covers. Jinho gave a muffled cry before reluctantly pulling himself up onto his bunk above.

“I guess we should go to bed, training starts at 7am tomorrow.” Yanan pushed himself off the floor and made his way over to his bed on the bottom bunk. Yuto got up as well, taking two steps before the drink got to his head and his dizziness caused him to stumble and trip, falling onto Yanan’s bed.

“Hyung I’m so sorry!” Yuto rubbed his head, waiting for the dizziness to stop. But Yanan was giggling away, his hand on Yuto’s shoulder to steady him. Yuto started to chuckle as well, bearing his toothy grin and crinkling his eyes. 

“Ssshh!” Yeo One hissed from his bunk to which Yuto and Yanan exchanged a look. Yanan shuffled over, laying his head back on the pillow and staring up at the bunk above. Yuto suddenly felt his palms sweating as he realised he was still on Yanan’s bed but before he could get up to leave Yanan began to speak again.

“Y’know Adachi, when I came here I thought I’d be the only one from another country, the only one to not get all the Korean references and jokes, but when I met you I felt a lot better.”

Yuto gulped. “Really Hyung? I’m not sure i’m really a reliable source of comfort…” 

“You are. You make me feel at home.”

Yuto blushed.

“Here, there’s room for you,” Yanan patted the space on the pillow next to his head. Yuto lay down next to him, cautiously placing his head a few inches from Yanan’s. Being this close to someone,Yanan of all people, made him nervous, especially since he’d had way too much to drink. What the hell had Kino put in that bottle?

Yanan was wearing knee length shorts and Yuto could feel the heat from his bare leg against his own. Why was his heart beating so damn fast? Yuto was almost scared Yanan could hear it beating but the Chinse boy seemed oblivious.

“I’ve never been to Japan. My uncle brought me Japanese candy from a trip once.”

“I’ll take you to Tokyo one day” Yuto didn’t know why he was blushing. Thank god it was dark in here.

Yanan giggled. “That’d be cool, Adachi.”

The two boys lay side by side, barely any space between them on the narrow bed. They talked for hours into the night about Shanghai, anime and all things in between. Not that Yuto remembered most of it, his brain was too fuzzy from the alcohol to think of anything but the sensation of Yanan’s hand brushing against his own or the cute way Yanan’s voice got higher when he talked about something he was passionate about.

Yuto sighed. Yanan was the epitome of adorableness. And whilst it made Yuto’s heart flutter, he knew his Hyung would never feel the same way. Kino was right. This would never go further than a stupid crush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't written fan fiction in years so apologies if this was painful to read. Nevertheless please leave suggestions of anything you would like to see in the story as there is no set plan yet.
> 
> Kudos would be much appreciated ^_^
> 
> More chapters comings soon~


	2. Chapter 2

It took several seconds before Yuto realised where he was. He was still lying on Yanan’s bed, the early morning sun casting a pale golden light over the room. The others were still sound asleep.

Yuto watched the gentle rise and fall of Yanan’s chest as he breathed. At some point in the night Yanan must’ve taken his shirt off, leaving his porcelain skin exposed. Yanan looked almost angelic, his hair parted and his face peaceful. Yuto dared not wake him.

Yuto looked down at his own body. He was still lying on top of the covers, fully dressed - nothing had happened last night then. Yuto let out a sharp exhale in amusement. Of course nothing had happened. What was Kino expecting? 

What was Yuto expecting?

Just as he was about to sit up to leave, Yanan rolled over, his long arm falling across Yuto’s middle and curling round his waist.

“Adachi…” he sighed in his sleep.

Carefully, Yuto lifted up Yanan’s pale arm, placing it back beside the oblivious Chinese boy. It made his heart physically ache to do so but he couldn’t take anymore of this torture.

 

His crush on the shy, awkward Chinese boy had started weeks ago. 

At first it was platonic affection. Sure, perhaps Yuto favoured him above the others sometimes, but he was allowed to have favourites right? Every one had a best friend. But the feelings he had didn’t feel the same as the friendship he had with Wooseok. Slowly his affection turned to something more. Yuto would lie awake at night, his mind persistently wandering back to Yanan.

Once, Yuto had walked in on Yanan getting changed after dance practice. The image of Yanan’s bare torso, slightly glistening with beads of sweat, his low hanging joggers exposing his v line and his surprisingly broad shoulders, had fuelled Yuto’s daydreams for days. And nights.

Now he was hopelessly in love. Every bashful smile, every hair flick sent butterflies swarming around Yuto’s stomach. 

Sometimes, in between practices, he’d watch Yanan from afar, falling in love with every mannerism. Yanan’s mispronunciation of simple Korean words, his ability to go from sassy and unimpressed to a small child who must be protected made Yuto’s heart flip.

And when he was closer. Sitting next to Yanan at fan meets or standing next to him on vLive, it was all Yuto could do not to give into his desires. To feel Yanan’s skin on his. To run his hands through his fluffy hair. To trace along his jawline, down his neck. 

But the space between them remained.

“Of course while Yanan’s naivety and innocence make him irresistible…” Kino winked at Yuto. “It also means he’s completely oblivious to your feelings, Hyung.” he continued. Yuto sighed. 

Confiding in Kino a week prior had not helped his situation. Kino had badgered him about who this mysterious crush was until Yuto had confessed. Previously enthusiastic, Kino had seemed disappointed. “It’s a lost cause.” he’d stated matter of factly. Seeing Yuto’s disheartened expression Kino tactfully continued. “But don’t give up. I’m sure I can pull a few strings to get things going…”

But Yuto had already accepted his fate. Yanan had never even had a girlfriend so what made him think he’d ever be interested in Yuto?

“Do not interfere, Hyunggu.” Yuto said firmly. And he meant it. 

…

Nevertheless, here he was. Sitting on Yanan’s bed after a drunken night of being subjected to Kino’s misguided plan.

Yuto swung his legs off the bed and onto the cold floor. He padded into the bathroom and splashed water on his face. It was only after standing that he noticed the pounding in his head. He couldn’t remember how much he’d drunk last night. He couldn’t remember much at all.

After showering, Yuto pulled on his clothes, a white tee, black joggers and his go-to black hoodie. Perfect. He’d slept in this same hoodie last night and it smelt faintly of Yanan’s sheets. Yuto shook the thought away and made his way down to the practice room. He wanted to get in some early training to clear his head before the others arrived.

In the practice room, Yuto felt free. He plugged his phone into the speakers and put his music on shuffle. The beats reverberated around the empty space. His dark, silent figure flitted across the reflections in the mirrors as he let the bass of the songs buzz into his head.

But no matter how many sit ups, press ups or laps of the room he completed, Yuto couldn’t take his mind off Yanan. He knew this needed to end. The worst thing now would be for him and Yanan to become closer friends. Knowing Yanan was just within reach, but never being able to make the final step, every day would be torture.

As much as it pained him, Yuto knew what he had to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was difficult to write after watching Pentagon's valentine's day video because a part of me ships Yuto with Kino but no... i must stay faithful to Yanan XDD
> 
> This was slightly shorter than last chapter but I hope you still enjoyed it ^_^
> 
> Please do comment as it means so much ~


	3. Chapter 3

“Adachi…” Yanan sighed, rolling over in bed, his hand outstretched. But all he did was grasp at thin air.

Yanan’s eyes snapped open, his brow furrowing as he surveyed his empty bed.

Had he dreamt it?

The crease in the pillow next to his own said otherwise.

With butterflies in his stomach, Yanan hurriedly got washed and dressed, almost skipping downstairs to the practice room, humming an airy song to himself all the way.

Most of the members were already up, milling around chatting or beginning their vigorous training schedule for the day. Kino looked up from his choreo practice as soon as Yanan walked in, flashing him a smile and winking.

Yuto was in the corner doing sit ups, his faced screwed up in determination as his torso and shoulders moved up and down. 

“Adachi!” Yanan waved excitedly. But Yuto avoided eye contact and didn’t reply.

Why was he suddenly being so cold? 

Yanan approached him cautiously. 

“Yuto, did you already have breakfast? I can bring you something if you like… or you could come with me, I was just on my wa—”

“I don’t need you to do anything for me. I’d rather be alone, Hyung.” Yuto snapped. 

Yanan felt a pang in his stomach, like the butterflies had all dropped dead.

Was last night just for show? Just for fun? Had it meant nothing?

Yanan’s heart sunk. For once he thought something good was happening in his life, and now it seemed like his dream had been snatched away and cast into the darkness.

…

After Kino’s drunken game of truth or dare Yuto had ended up in Yanan’s bed, and for some reason Yanan was happy about it.

They’d talked for hours about this and that, and despite Yuto not being entirely sober, he’d offered some pretty consoling advice about Yanan’s homesickness, to which the Chinese boy was deeply grateful.

Yanan had always felt like an outcast in the group, even when sharing a dorm with four others he still felt alone most of the time.

But with Yuto it was different.

His laugh made Yanan feel at ease, like he wouldn’t be judged for being awkward and shy. His deep, soothing voice melted Yanan’s heart and when he flashed that adorable smile, Yanan’s stomach flipped. 

And his aeygo. Damn. That boy knew how to win the affection of anyone.

Ok so, Yanan did have a crush on Yuto. Maybe more. But so what? Was it the worst thing in the world if all he could think about while Yuto was talking was how perfect it would be to kiss those lips of his?

These were the thoughts running round and round in Yanan’s mind as they lay there on his bed.

“So as I said, that’s why Light could’ve won if only he’d— I’ve been talking about anime for ages haven’t I? Sorry…” Yuto giggled. Yanan’s head was resting in the crook of the other’s neck.

“No, it’s cute.”

He looked up, his face now so close to Yuto’s he could feel the Japanese boy’s breath on his nose.

Yuto’s arm was curled round Yanan’s waist, pulling him closer. He pecked him on the nose, Yanan smiled bashfully.

There was no space between them now, no where for either to look except each other.

Yanan could feel Yuto’s heart beating double time against his own.

“Yanan Hyung…” he began to speak.

But Yanan silenced him with a kiss. Their lips met delicately, lightly pressing against each other for a prolonged moment before Yuto slowly pulled away.

The Japanese boy turned his attention to Yanan’s neck, leaving a trail of kisses and nibbles down to his collarbone until he reached the older boy’s shirt.

He began to unbutton it, continuing the trail with his lips down Yanan’s pale chest until he pushed his shirt completely off and onto the floor.

Yanan closed his eyes in utter bliss. He’d never been with anyone like this before. Only in his not so innocent daydreams had he imagined these feelings. He thought he’d be nervous, his first time being so intimate with another person, but somehow Yuto made him feel safe.

He reached down to hook a finger under the younger boy’s chin, bringing him back up so he could kiss him once more. 

The two boys sat up now, facing each other in the darkness. 

This time he kissed Yuto with more depth, their lips interlocking, tugging on each other with their teeth, Yuto teasing him with his tongue.

Yuto’s tanned hand reached up to cup the older boy’s jaw and neck, pulling him hungrily closer into the kiss.

Yanan’s hands almost automatically reached up, his fingers interlocking themselves into Yuto’s hair. Then one of his hands travelled back downwards, slipping under Yuto’s hoodie and tracing delicately up his bare torso.

“Yan..an…” Yuto sighed into the older boy’s lips. They were soft and fitted perfectly against his.

They were being gentle, not pushing each others limits. These moments were pure, special. Yanan didn’t want them to be over but he also didn’t want to rush into anything.

“Adachi” Yanan started.

“Mm?” Yuto was leaving light kisses all over Yanan’s face.

“I’m cold,” the shirtless boy laughed quietly. 

Yuto pushed him back down on to the bed. “Then you’ll have to share my hoodie,” he grinned.

 

The pair lay entwined on top of the covers, Yanan’s face buried in Yuto’s chest, Yuto resting his chin on top of the other boy’s head. Yuto lay with his arm around Yanan, pulling him closer into the fabric of his hoodie for warmth.

At last the drink caught up with him and he began to feel woozy again. Although whether that was just the drink or if his bubbling emotions were causing it too, it was hard to say.

Within minutes Yuto was out like a light, and Yanan had no problem with falling asleep curled up in his embrace, a warm feeling tingling throughout his body.

…

“I don’t need you to do anything for me. I’d rather be alone, Hyung.” 

As soon as he said it, Yuto felt like the worst person on earth. Seeing Yanan’s smile falter made his heart ache. But he needed to distance himself from the Chinese boy in order to save his own feelings. And if that meant being cold to him for a while, then so be it.

Yuto watched longingly as the boy he had such affection for scuttled away, failing at hiding the broken look of sadness on his face. A feeling Yuto was responsible for. He cursed himself silently for being so selfish.

Selfish?

How was denying himself the one person he wanted more than anything, selfish?

If only he could rewind. Never talk to Yanan, never fall asleep in his bed. Then maybe these feelings wouldn’t have become so intense.

Why had they become so intense? Nothing had happened after all.

Yuto mentally shook himself.

He threw all his energy into doubling the speed of his sit ups, desperately hoping it would help him forget that Chinese boy and his perfect smile and his perfect laugh and his perfect lips.

His perfect lips… which he had kissed.

Which he had kissed?

Yuto’s heart skipped a beat as his mind began to clear and the events of last night came rushing back into his head.

 

Holy shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was the fluff y'all signed up for.
> 
> Let me know what you think down in the comments and I promise i'll update soon! :3


End file.
